>> Bad: You know what the silliest thing about great replacement theory is…
>> Bad: Human life might end by 2050 if we don't do a thing about climate change -> I sleep
>> Bad: Whites could become a minority in the UK by 2100 -> Real shit
>> Bad: People who vote based on that need a good hefty slap.
>> jiquiame: As if politics were based on real life real things and not ideology gangs.
>> Bad: Ideology gangs.
>> jiquiame: New concept.
>> Bad: Trying to lose weight so I ate a small meal, but met mutualism gang on the street and they forcefully cooked delicious food and fed it to me…
>> Bad: Trying to get better at lifting so I went to the gym, but met socialism gang in there and they helped me lift my weights which made it too easy…
>> jiquiame: Hahaha
>> jiquiame: Do it at home!
>> jiquiame: Away from gangs.
>> Bad: Trying to own a home, but met communism gang…

>> Bad: There is a future in which people look back at us and go "21st century folk used to waste so much time on disgusting body functions".
>> Bad: And you'd have a group of people who call themselves poopies and voluntarily have their butt catheter removed so they can experience actual pooping and society would look down on them.
>> Bad: I have no idea where this is going…
>> Bad: This is why I'm not a science fiction writer.

>> pitastrudl: Like, wheelbarrows are just big iron cast pans tbh
>> Bad: pitastrudl: Landmines are just tiny cast iron pans.
>> Bad: Lifehack
>> pitastrudl: I mean yes
>> pitastrudl: You basically accelerate cooking to a mere second
>> pitastrudl: Just gotta catch the food in the air.

>> Bad: Worst thing about having people over is not covid.
>> Bad: It's having to throw away the cumsock.
>> Bad: Possibly related: I have someone over in a few minutes and I just caused my nipple to bleed by keying myself somehow.
>> Bad: Can't tell if I'm serious because of the before phrases but I am and it's seeable through my shirt.
>> Bad: Fuck this is the stupidest way to panic.
>> Bad: Fuck.
>> Bad: How does one manage to key themselves over the nipple when trying to open a door I don't understand myself.

>> frederic: When you take a train to get back home…
>> frederic: And then it decides to either go all the way to waterloo.
>> frederic: Or stop midway.
>> frederic: Never witnessed this here, totally standard in London.
>> Bad: Doesn't matter regardless since the train will get stuck in Whitton.
>> frederic: rofl
>> frederic: Fucking Whitton.
>> frederic: Also when the AC breaks and eveyrone is grinding on each other.
>> frederic: I was SO WARM once, was dying inside.
>> frederic: My leg fell in between the gap.
>> frederic: Hit my balls on the train thing.
>> frederic: Pretended all is ok.
>> Bad: HIT MY BALLS ON THE TRAIN WHAT
>> frederic: Was fucking dying inside.

>> supakeen: I mean I 'broke' my home keyboard as well.
>> supakeen: By dropping a jug of orange juice on it.
>> supakeen: But then I repaired it.
>> supakeen: Though I will admit it took a while for all keys to be smooth again.
>> supakeen: But they are now.
>> Bad: supakeen: Why would you have orange juice near your keyboard though?
>> Bad: Recipe for disaster!
>> supakeen: I was being extremely, extremely dumb.
>> supakeen: I had this bottle of orange juice and had taken a huge swig.
>> supakeen: Then I was like 'mrm tastes off, whats the date on this' and the date was at the bottom.
>> supakeen: So .... yea.

>> Bruce: So supakeen, tomorrow is the first human crewed SpaceX flight, you ready?
>> supakeen: Yes, I'm ready but it's 40% odds.
>> Bruce: Really?
>> Bruce: Tf
>> supakeen: Bruce: yes, weather is wild there.
>> supakeen: So there's 40% odds they can launch during the launch window for tomorrow at 22:33 our time.
>> Bruce: Oh.
>> Bad: Did you think it was odds of death?
>> Bruce: I did.

>> Bad: Scared myself upon entering the bathroom.
>> Bad: Forgot overnight that I had shaved.
>> Bad: Actually thought there was a stranger in the room. No joke, made me panic.

>> Bad: You joke but there's a dude in my high school who notoriously traded Mein Kampf for a handjob.

>> Bad: I just think russians are good at having fun and enjoying life tbh
>> Bad: Compared to other northern countries they don't have the same suicide and depression problems
>> Bad: Nevermind just checked their suicide rate is world record LMAO guess they just hate life

>> Bad: Undeniable fact.
>> Bad: Touching a shower wall in a hotel is like when you dick touches the toilet bowl at work.
>> Bad: Can't find a difference between these horrible feelings.
>> fred1: That's not the worst part.
>> fred1: The worst part is when the dick goes a little above the bowl.
>> fred1: And then you feel this wet feeling.
>> fred1: Suddely you peed all over your trousers.
>> Bad: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

>> Bad: This genius.
>> Bad: Trying to fix a headphone issue...
>> Bad: First result is a video.
>> Bad: No subtitles.
>> Bad: Just a guy speaking.
>> Bad: In a video about sound not working.
>> Exirel: Bad: 10/10
>> Bad: My problem is such a typical laptop problem too...
>> Bad: Connect an audio device through bluetooth.
>> Bad: Disconnect it.
>> Bad: No other speakers get recognized.
>> Bad: Ever again.
>> Bad: Fuckin laptops.
>> Exirel: Oh yeah, that is very annoying.
>> Exirel: I have 0 problem with my headset, my marshall audio station, when I use my phone.
>> Exirel: And I can also use my phone with either of these with my home sound system, no problem.
>> Exirel: But if I dare to connect my headset to my laptop, I'm screwed.
>> Exirel: I have to re-assign my headset to my phone after that.
>> Exirel: Fucking laptop.
>> Bad: LMAO
>> Bad: When I press the fucking test sound button.
>> Bad: It does a sound test in my headphones.
>> Bad: But sound still comes out of the computer's built-in speakers when I try to play music.
>> Exirel: lol
>> Bad: Fuckin laptops I swear.
>> Exirel: Windows ?
>> Bad: 10
>> Bad: Yeah I'm rage-speedrunning through all of the settings right now.
>> Bad: Eventually, some mild change might fix everything.
>> Exirel: I know you can have multiple audio output.
>> Exirel: And you can have different default for different type of audio.
>> Exirel: There should be one that tell "cut this one when headset is on" or something.
>> Bad: But there's literally only 1 audio device according to windows.
>> Bad: OK, actually fixed it.
>> Bad: Here's what I did:
>> Bad: I have no idea.
>> Bad: Strong story.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: Fuckin laptop issues, man.
>> Exirel: I can totally relate to that.
>> Exirel: btw my laptop issues are with Linux, never tried with Windows :D
>> Bad: This shit literally only happens on laptops.
>> Exirel: I know right.
>> Exirel: So annoying.
>> Bad: Don't even get me started on linux laptops and sound cards...
>> Bad: I could rant for a day.
>> Exirel: I had 0 problem with wired audio for the last 6 years, with 4 different linux laptops.
>> Exirel: But bluetooth is just hell.
>> Bad: Bluetooth is great.
>> Bad: You turn it on.
>> Bad: Nothing works anymore.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: Your wired mouse freezes.
>> Bad: The built-in keyboard switches to a different layout.
>> Bad: Computer reboots and now you have Windows 95 installed.
>> Bad: Actual bluetooth linux laptop experience.
>> Bad: Not exaggerated.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: One time I listed audio devices on a linux laptop and the computer disappeared.
>> Bad: Found it 3 years later when I wandered the shadow realm looking for cash that I had lost in my couch.
>> Bad: Actual story.
>> Bad: Worst experience though is, on a windows laptop, I plugged in a microphone once.
>> Bad: A voice coming from inside the computer said « Fuck » out loud, then it turned itself off.
>> Bad: Never been able to boot it since.
>> Bad: Think it bricked itself on purpose.
>> Bad: Unsure.
>> Bad: I confess: I made up a part of this whole story.
>> Bad: The part where I implied it's possible to turn on bluetooth on a linux laptop.
>> Bad: Is just stays off whatever you try.

>> Bad: So Raziel what's with all the places called -plein in .nl?
>> Raziel: It means square.
>> Bad: OMG
>> Bad: DID YOU JUST FUCKING
>> Bad: MANSPLEIN DUTCH TO ME

>> moop: I started playing that shit katnip game but then I remembered something important.
>> moop: I'm in the middle of a movie.
>> Bad: moop...
>> moop: Wait nvm first 15 min.
>> moop: Bad: I've been stuck on the same timestamp on the last the hobbit movie.
>> moop: For, like, a month now.
>> moop: If not more.

>> Bad: Opening up is real nice though.
>> Bad: You should try some time.
>> Bad: Just gotta be with the right people.
>> moop: Reminds me of the time I realized I have a case of diarrhea 10 minutes into a 1h bus ride.
>> moop: Wasn't fun.

>> gojira: Ok so.
>> gojira: Want to know how stupid I am?
>> Bad: Oh nice, you're alive.
>> gojira: Yea.
>> gojira: I've never failed this hard in my life.
>> gojira: My operation is the 18th.
>> gojira: Not the 16th.
>> gojira: ......
>> Raziel: LOL
>> Bad: lmao
>> gojira: They had to prescribe me extra meds.
>> gojira: Because i had already taken them all.
>> gojira: And not eaten for 24 hours
>> gojira: etc.
>> gojira: GODDAMN

>> Bad: mfw also tired from late night.
>> Bad: Except it's because I woke myself up in the middle of the night by farting somehow.
>> Bad: And couldn't fall back to sleep.
>> Bad: Failure level high.

>> Bad: The wild ancestor of the donkey is the African wild ass.
>> Bad: Asses were first domesticated around 3000 BC.
>> Bad: Seriously english did you need to call donkeys asses.
>> Bad: The Muscat or Yemen ass was developed in Arabia. Greeks spread both of these.

>> Bad: « The problem isn't transvestism, it's virtue signaling »
>> Bad: moop: What does this even mean?
>> moop: Idk Bad I'm not a languige.
>> moop: Languiger.
>> moop: w/e

>> Bad: So.
>> Bad: She talked about the guys that smoke fish for a living.
>> Bad: What I pictured in my head was someone rolling a fish into a joint and smoking it.
>> Bad: And it seemed normal to my brain.
>> Bad: I was like this is what she meant yes.
>> Bad: Then thought about it.

>> moop: So Bad why don't french have a word for enterpreneur?
>> Bad: We don't have such a thing because we are not as good as americans.
>> Bad: We can't create only imitate.
>> moop: Like that matrix quote, "imitate this".
>> moop: Or something.
>> Bad: Yeah.
>> Bad: You can each take one pill, be it the blue one you will experience reality, be it the green one you will go into space.
>> Bad: My favorite part of the matrix.
>> moop: Don't you go into 420valhalla if you toke the green pill tho?
>> Bad: No that's after the scene where Morphoses kisses Leia but she's his aunt.
>> ad13: wtf
>> ad13: Isn't it red pill

>> Bad: Worst thing.
>> Bad: I can't blow my nose despite it being full.
>> Bad: Because every time I start blowing my nose it sends Aurélie into a laughing fit.
>> Bad: Which makes me laugh.
>> Bad: And throw snot everywhere.
>> Bad: Apparently I sound like a clogged trumpet mixed with a fart.
>> Bad: She threatened to record me.
>> Bad: Help

>> moop: Valacar: gonna watch Versailles.
>> moop: What do i need to expect?
>> moop: I see boobies.
>> moop: I'm confused, it looks cool so far.
>> Valacar: Yea boobies are real in that.
>> Valacar: But dear god the plot.
>> Valacar: And the editing.
>> Valacar: It's like beyond fucked up.
>> Valacar: And the writing.
>> Valacar: It's bad on every possible level.
>> moop: Eh.
>> moop: Ep 1 wasn't that bad.
>> moop: Like
>> moop: It's ok.
>> Valacar: Yea ep 1 wasn't that bad.
>> Valacar: Tho the telenovela vibe was stronk.
>> moop: Never seen telenovelas.
>> moop: So idk.
>> Valacar: But pay attention to that Lucas Barres guy and his sunglasses.
>> Valacar: Also music cues are quite interesting.
>> moop: Valacar: didn't know there were sunglasses during that period.
>> Valacar: Oh wait what.
>> Valacar: moop you are watching a different show.
>> moop: Versailles
>> moop: Isn't that what you're watching?
>> Bad: ...
>> Bad: moop: The show is called Marseille.
>> moop: Oh i see my confusion.
>> Valacar: :DDDDDDDD
>> moop: Let's see this Marseille.
>> gojira: lmao
>> moop: If you think about it both are french dramas about politics.
>> moop: With boobies.

>> moop: Lol
>> moop: This museum is hugo
>> moop: Dunno how to get out halp
>> moop: Looking for a way out for the last 30 min.
>> moop: Also the weed doesn't help.
>> Bad: You barely entered the museum.
>> Bad: Already trying to go out?
>> moop: Not trying to get out.
>> moop: Just curious where out is.

[ 4 entire hours later ]

>> moop: Bad pls I'm dying Diego
>> moop: Here
>> Bad: rip Diego
>> Raziel: Ah man
>> Raziel: If only we were there with you
>> Bad: moop are you outside?
>> Bad: Or in hotel?
>> moop: Still in museum.
>> Bad: ROFL

>> Bad: Also I am getting married in 3 days.
>> moop: To who?
>> moop: To whom?
>> Bad: That nurse girl with the robots.
>> Bad: Maru.
>> Bad: I gifted her a cauliflower on her birthday and she was like OMG BEST GIFT EVER and it gave me +3 hearts at once.
>> Bad: So I was like eh almost 10 hearts might aswell marry.
>> Raziel: Just like real life.

>> Bad: I just had the worst adventurer ever. space I woke up with the need to shit and I was asleep seized so after shitting I wiped my ass with my sleeping boxer briefs now it's 1 a.m. and I'm busy washing shit away from my underwear also text to speech to text seems to be working well

>> Naypam: I think BBC Radio is free worldwide.
>> lovely: We don't pay our tv costs Naypam.
>> lovely: So they might send inspectors after us.
>> Naypam: Haha, the BBC?
>> BadFurDay: Rofl BBC inspectors.
>> BadFurDay: They would be all like « You wot m8? »
>> lovely: YOU WOT M8?
>> lovely: NAE LICENSE!?
>> lovely: AGAINST THE WALL!
>> lovely: With their top hats.
>> lovely: And bobby uniforms.
>> lovely: And they'll haul a red phone booth with them.
>> lovely: And ride a double decker bus.
>> Naypam: Omfg it's not like that at all!
>> Naypam: They write you a letter.
>> Naypam: Then apparently come and check and say "let us in".
>> Naypam: And you say "no".
>> Naypam: And then they can't come back.
>> Naypam: Because they have no actual authority.
>> BadFurDay: Yes Naypam, that's the first step.
>> BadFurDay: A letter handwritten by the queen.
>> BadFurDay: Then the guards arrive.
>> BadFurDay: With their marge simpson hats.
>> lovely: Only the guards cant move BadFurDay.
>> lovely: So they just stand there.
>> lovely: In silence.
>> Naypam: omg
>> Naypam: Not even like that
>> Naypam: wtf
>> lovely: MY DEAR OLD CHAP, NAE LICENSE!?
>> lovely: BRING IN THE GUARDS!
>> lovely: And they just stand there.

>> Bad: Garner: You just made me realize that penises don't have a distinctive sound.
>> Bad: There's no sound you hear and go like « Ah, that's a penis! ».
>> Bad: It's sad.
>> Garner: Yeah it is :(