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Quotes s +

Words from NoBleme

Sometimes, funny conversations or monologues happen on NoBleme, mostly on our IRC chat server. This page aims at preserving them for posterity. You will find all of our quotes below, presented to you in reverse chronological order. We have quality guidelines in place: we'd rather have a few great quotes than a lot of average ones, and we'd rather laugh with people than laugh at people. If you witness a conversation on NoBleme worthy of joining this collection, you can submit a quote proposal.

Some of the quotes are blurred like this as they contain crude or sensitive content. You can read them by hovering your pointer over them. If you are bothered by the blurring or feel like you don't need it, you can permanently disable it in your account's adult content options.

NoBleme's 84 quotes:
Quote #408 November 9th 2023 - Bad jiquiame
>> Bad: You know what the silliest thing about great replacement theory is…
>> Bad: Human life might end by 2050 if we don't do a thing about climate change -> I sleep
>> Bad: Whites could become a minority in the UK by 2100 -> Real shit
>> Bad: People who vote based on that need a good hefty slap.
>> jiquiame: As if politics were based on real life real things and not ideology gangs.
>> Bad: Ideology gangs.
>> jiquiame: New concept.
>> Bad: Trying to lose weight so I ate a small meal, but met mutualism gang on the street and they forcefully cooked delicious food and fed it to me…
>> Bad: Trying to get better at lifting so I went to the gym, but met socialism gang in there and they helped me lift my weights which made it too easy…
>> jiquiame: Hahaha
>> jiquiame: Do it at home!
>> jiquiame: Away from gangs.
>> Bad: Trying to own a home, but met communism gang…
Quote #404 January 21th 2023 - Bad
>> Bad: There is a future in which people look back at us and go "21st century folk used to waste so much time on disgusting body functions".
>> Bad: And you'd have a group of people who call themselves poopies and voluntarily have their butt catheter removed so they can experience actual pooping and society would look down on them.
>> Bad: I have no idea where this is going…
>> Bad: This is why I'm not a science fiction writer.
Quote #397 August 10th 2022 - Bruce
>> Bruce: TFW it's been already 6 months since I began investing in stocks.
>> Bruce: Down 3%.
Quote #390 May 2nd 2021 - moop
>> moop: This website looks bootleg
>> moop: No certificate and it looks like it runs on a freemium wordpress theme
>> moop: lmao this is so sad
>> moop: Hollywood people be like
>> moop: >create hackers, a movie that 100% describes the computer nerd underworld
>> moop: >can't make a website
Quote #384 November 19th 2020 - Bad pitastrudl
>> pitastrudl: Like, wheelbarrows are just big iron cast pans tbh
>> Bad: pitastrudl: Landmines are just tiny cast iron pans.
>> Bad: Lifehack
>> pitastrudl: I mean yes
>> pitastrudl: You basically accelerate cooking to a mere second
>> pitastrudl: Just gotta catch the food in the air.
Quote #383 October 15th 2020 - Bad
>> Bad: Worst thing about having people over is not covid.
>> Bad: It's having to throw away the cumsock.
>> Bad: Possibly related: I have someone over in a few minutes and I just caused my nipple to bleed by keying myself somehow.
>> Bad: Can't tell if I'm serious because of the before phrases but I am and it's seeable through my shirt.
>> Bad: Fuck this is the stupidest way to panic.
>> Bad: Fuck.
>> Bad: How does one manage to key themselves over the nipple when trying to open a door I don't understand myself.
Quote #382 September 6th 2020 - Garner
>> frederic: Ida's parents' dog went crazy once, iirc because her dad farted.
Quote #381 August 31th 2020 - Bad Garner
>> frederic: When you take a train to get back home…
>> frederic: And then it decides to either go all the way to waterloo.
>> frederic: Or stop midway.
>> frederic: Never witnessed this here, totally standard in London.
>> Bad: Doesn't matter regardless since the train will get stuck in Whitton.
>> frederic: rofl
>> frederic: Fucking Whitton.
>> frederic: Also when the AC breaks and eveyrone is grinding on each other.
>> frederic: I was SO WARM once, was dying inside.
>> frederic: My leg fell in between the gap.
>> frederic: Hit my balls on the train thing.
>> frederic: Pretended all is ok.
>> frederic: Was fucking dying inside.
Quote #380 August 30th 2020 - 0x57 Bad
>> supakeen: I mean I 'broke' my home keyboard as well.
>> supakeen: By dropping a jug of orange juice on it.
>> supakeen: But then I repaired it.
>> supakeen: Though I will admit it took a while for all keys to be smooth again.
>> supakeen: But they are now.
>> Bad: supakeen: Why would you have orange juice near your keyboard though?
>> Bad: Recipe for disaster!
>> supakeen: I was being extremely, extremely dumb.
>> supakeen: I had this bottle of orange juice and had taken a huge swig.
>> supakeen: Then I was like 'mrm tastes off, whats the date on this' and the date was at the bottom.
>> supakeen: So .... yea.
Quote #377 July 18th 2020 - Garner
>> fredERIC: I smoked a4 paper many times
>> fredERIC: Thinking cigs were the same
Quote #374 June 16th 2020 - Bruce
>> Bruce: btw my dad is cool
>> Bruce: He bought me an ass shower today.
Quote #373 May 26th 2020 - 0x57 Bad Bruce
>> Bruce: So supakeen, tomorrow is the first human crewed SpaceX flight, you ready?
>> supakeen: Yes, I'm ready but it's 40% odds.
>> Bruce: Really?
>> Bruce: Tf
>> supakeen: Bruce: yes, weather is wild there.
>> supakeen: So there's 40% odds they can launch during the launch window for tomorrow at 22:33 our time.
>> Bruce: Oh.
>> Bad: Did you think it was odds of death?
>> Bruce: I did.
Quote #372 April 10th 2020 - Bad
>> Bad: Scared myself upon entering the bathroom.
>> Bad: Forgot overnight that I had shaved.
>> Bad: Actually thought there was a stranger in the room. No joke, made me panic.
Quote #371 January 19th 2020 - Bad
>> Bad: You joke but there's a dude in my high school who notoriously traded Mein Kampf for a handjob.
Quote #365 July 26th 2019 - Bad
>> Bad: I just think russians are good at having fun and enjoying life tbh
>> Bad: Compared to other northern countries they don't have the same suicide and depression problems
>> Bad: Nevermind just checked their suicide rate is world record LMAO guess they just hate life
Quote #364 July 12nd 2019 - Bad Garner
>> Bad: Undeniable fact.
>> Bad: Touching a shower wall in a hotel is like when you dick touches the toilet bowl at work.
>> Bad: Can't find a difference between these horrible feelings.
>> fred1: That's not the worst part.
>> fred1: The worst part is when the dick goes a little above the bowl.
>> fred1: And then you feel this wet feeling.
>> fred1: Suddely you peed all over your trousers.
>> Bad: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Quote #363 July 12nd 2019 - Bad Exirel
>> Bad: This genius.
>> Bad: Trying to fix a headphone issue...
>> Bad: First result is a video.
>> Bad: No subtitles.
>> Bad: Just a guy speaking.
>> Bad: In a video about sound not working.
>> Exirel: Bad: 10/10
>> Bad: My problem is such a typical laptop problem too...
>> Bad: Connect an audio device through bluetooth.
>> Bad: Disconnect it.
>> Bad: No other speakers get recognized.
>> Bad: Ever again.
>> Bad: Fuckin laptops.
>> Exirel: Oh yeah, that is very annoying.
>> Exirel: I have 0 problem with my headset, my marshall audio station, when I use my phone.
>> Exirel: And I can also use my phone with either of these with my home sound system, no problem.
>> Exirel: But if I dare to connect my headset to my laptop, I'm screwed.
>> Exirel: I have to re-assign my headset to my phone after that.
>> Exirel: Fucking laptop.
>> Bad: LMAO
>> Bad: When I press the fucking test sound button.
>> Bad: It does a sound test in my headphones.
>> Bad: But sound still comes out of the computer's built-in speakers when I try to play music.
>> Exirel: lol
>> Bad: Fuckin laptops I swear.
>> Exirel: Windows ?
>> Bad: 10
>> Bad: Yeah I'm rage-speedrunning through all of the settings right now.
>> Bad: Eventually, some mild change might fix everything.
>> Exirel: I know you can have multiple audio output.
>> Exirel: And you can have different default for different type of audio.
>> Exirel: There should be one that tell "cut this one when headset is on" or something.
>> Bad: But there's literally only 1 audio device according to windows.
>> Bad: OK, actually fixed it.
>> Bad: Here's what I did:
>> Bad: I have no idea.
>> Bad: Strong story.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: Fuckin laptop issues, man.
>> Exirel: I can totally relate to that.
>> Exirel: btw my laptop issues are with Linux, never tried with Windows :D
>> Bad: This shit literally only happens on laptops.
>> Exirel: I know right.
>> Exirel: So annoying.
>> Bad: Don't even get me started on linux laptops and sound cards...
>> Bad: I could rant for a day.
>> Exirel: I had 0 problem with wired audio for the last 6 years, with 4 different linux laptops.
>> Exirel: But bluetooth is just hell.
>> Bad: Bluetooth is great.
>> Bad: You turn it on.
>> Bad: Nothing works anymore.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: Your wired mouse freezes.
>> Bad: The built-in keyboard switches to a different layout.
>> Bad: Computer reboots and now you have Windows 95 installed.
>> Bad: Actual bluetooth linux laptop experience.
>> Bad: Not exaggerated.
>> Exirel: :D
>> Bad: One time I listed audio devices on a linux laptop and the computer disappeared.
>> Bad: Found it 3 years later when I wandered the shadow realm looking for cash that I had lost in my couch.
>> Bad: Actual story.
>> Bad: Worst experience though is, on a windows laptop, I plugged in a microphone once.
>> Bad: A voice coming from inside the computer said « Fuck » out loud, then it turned itself off.
>> Bad: Never been able to boot it since.
>> Bad: Think it bricked itself on purpose.
>> Bad: Unsure.
>> Bad: I confess: I made up a part of this whole story.
>> Bad: The part where I implied it's possible to turn on bluetooth on a linux laptop.
>> Bad: Is just stays off whatever you try.
Quote #350 October 17th 2018 - Andreas
>> Raziel: You joke but I bet at least once I kept myself awake thinking about how stupid bitcoin is.
Quote #349 October 16th 2018
>> Phixion: I used to lift my schoolbooks with my boner.
>> Phixion: You know when you lean them against the table on your crotch?
>> Phixion: Great training.
Quote #348 September 29th 2018 - Andreas
>> Raziel: I never really thought about it but I guess young me did start to think about determinism and utilitarianism and crap mostly because of the matrix sequels.
Quote #347 September 19th 2018 - Andreas Bad
>> Bad: So Raziel what's with all the places called -plein in .nl?
>> Raziel: It means square.
>> Bad: OMG
Quote #346 September 13rd 2018 - Bad moop
>> moop: I started playing that shit katnip game but then I remembered something important.
>> moop: I'm in the middle of a movie.
>> Bad: moop...
>> moop: Wait nvm first 15 min.
>> moop: Bad: I've been stuck on the same timestamp on the last the hobbit movie.
>> moop: For, like, a month now.
>> moop: If not more.
Quote #345 September 13rd 2018 - 0x57 moop
>> Valacar: hmh
>> Valacar: All masters thesises (?) here are by default public.
>> Valacar: What's the plural form of thesis?
>> gojira: Papers.
>> gojira: Theses.
>> Valacar: Theses.
>> moop: Valacar: Plural of thesis is these.
>> moop: These nuts.
Quote #344 August 19th 2018 - moop
>> moop: Wait is diarrhea medicine causes diarrhea or stops diarrhea?
Quote #342 August 11th 2018 - Andreas
>> Raziel: I've ran into a thread of hilarious anime clips.
Quote #341 August 3rd 2018 - Bad moop
>> Bad: Opening up is real nice though.
>> Bad: You should try some time.
>> Bad: Just gotta be with the right people.
>> moop: Reminds me of the time I realized I have a case of diarrhea 10 minutes into a 1h bus ride.
>> moop: Wasn't fun.
Quote #340 July 16th 2018 - 0x57 Andreas Bad
>> gojira: Ok so.
>> gojira: Want to know how stupid I am?
>> Bad: Oh nice, you're alive.
>> gojira: Yea.
>> gojira: I've never failed this hard in my life.
>> gojira: My operation is the 18th.
>> gojira: Not the 16th.
>> gojira: ......
>> Raziel: LOL
>> Bad: lmao
>> gojira: They had to prescribe me extra meds.
>> gojira: Because i had already taken them all.
>> gojira: And not eaten for 24 hours
>> gojira: etc.
>> gojira: GODDAMN
Quote #339 June 25th 2018 - moop
>> moop: Fuck I hate eye checkups.
>> moop: They put these drops that make your shit wider.
>> Valacar: Eye drops makes your shit wider?
>> Valacar: I don't think you are applying it correctly tbh.
Quote #338 June 15th 2018 - moop
>> Bad: Hmmm this hotel looks nice but it's in Lampedusa.
>> moop: Lampedusa is a funny name.
>> moop: Lumped usa.
>> moop: Lampy dusa.
>> Valacar: It is always interesting to get some insight on how the wonderous mind of moop works.
Quote #269 May 31th 2018 - Andreas moop
>> Bad: moop: What the FUCK is a extuessl?
>> moop: Bad: It's my mail.
>> Bad: wtf does it mean?
>> moop: Wanted to get anton but it was taken.
>> Raziel: Anton is taken? Dammit
>> Raziel: extuessl next best option
>> Raziel: ??????????
>> moop: The real story behind extuessl is it was the captcha that I got after trying like 20 different account names
>> moop: Was like eh fuck it
>> moop: tbh all my tries were anton0-19
Quote #337 March 30th 2018 - Bad
>> Bad: mfw also tired from late night.
>> Bad: Except it's because I woke myself up in the middle of the night by farting somehow.
>> Bad: And couldn't fall back to sleep.
>> Bad: Failure level high.
Quote #336 March 18th 2018 - Bad
>> Bad: The wild ancestor of the donkey is the African wild ass.
>> Bad: Asses were first domesticated around 3000 BC.
>> Bad: Seriously english did you need to call donkeys asses.
>> Bad: The Muscat or Yemen ass was developed in Arabia. Greeks spread both of these.
Quote #333 November 6th 2017 - howhiGh
>> how-high: Do we have gingers here?
>> how-high: Rumoured that they have pink buttholes.
>> how-high: And then came sudden realization that I am 26 year old and still have no idea what color my anus is.
Quote #330 August 19th 2017 - Andreas
>> Raziel: God damn.
>> Raziel: Is there anything worse than bread becoming deformed in the shopping bag because you stacked things wrong?
>> Raziel: There probably is.
Quote #329 May 22nd 2017 - Bad moop
>> Bad: « The problem isn't transvestism, it's virtue signaling »
>> Bad: moop: What does this even mean?
>> moop: Idk Bad I'm not a languige.
>> moop: Languiger.
>> moop: w/e
Quote #328 May 15th 2017 - moop
>> moop: So guys, update.
>> moop: Remember they asked to piss in a jar?
>> moop: I dropped it.
>> moop: Rip.
Quote #327 May 13rd 2017
>> Naypam: Oh god
>> Naypam: Can't remember where it was.
>> Naypam: I was leaving someone's flat.
>> Naypam: Sprayed my underarms with shoe polish.
>> Naypam: Was absolute pain like wtf is in that god damn.
Quote #326 April 6th 2017 - Garner
>> garne: Was licking my lips cos dry.
>> garne: But also this girl was looking at me.
>> garne: But I was staring too, but only stared as I was doing something.
>> garne: As in I didnt move my eyes because I'm doing something else.
>> garne: The look on her face.
>> garne: It's like when you stare ar someone but youre thinking or daydreaming.
>> garne: :(
Quote #325 April 5th 2017 - Bad
>> Bad: So.
>> Bad: She talked about the guys that smoke fish for a living.
>> Bad: What I pictured in my head was someone rolling a fish into a joint and smoking it.
>> Bad: And it seemed normal to my brain.
>> Bad: I was like this is what she meant yes.
>> Bad: Then thought about it.
Quote #324 March 22nd 2017 - moop
>> moop: Like before that i was fine being misogynistic neckbeard, but ever since they started holocaust denial its just not the same.
Quote #323 March 19th 2017 - moop
>> Valacar: I've even driven professionally.
>> moop: Valacar: The fuck is 'driven professionally'?
>> Bad: moop: He has drive in his work.
>> Bad: Drives him to succeed.
>> Valacar: I have worked as a lorry driver for 8ish months plus few summers.
>> moop: Valacar: Do they realize how awful the word 'bish' sounds?
>> Valacar: Wat?
>> ad13: lel
>> ad13: moop saw 8ish and read bish.
Quote #321 January 24th 2017 - Garner
>> Garner: I wish my gf could laugh at the nigga video.
>> Garner: She literally knows nothing about memes.
>> Garner: NOTHING
Quote #320 January 8th 2017 - Bad moop
>> moop: So Bad why don't french have a word for enterpreneur?
>> Bad: We don't have such a thing because we are not as good as americans.
>> Bad: We can't create only imitate.
>> moop: Like that matrix quote, "imitate this".
>> moop: Or something.
>> Bad: Yeah.
>> Bad: You can each take one pill, be it the blue one you will experience reality, be it the green one you will go into space.
>> Bad: My favorite part of the matrix.
>> moop: Don't you go into 420valhalla if you toke the green pill tho?
>> Bad: No that's after the scene where Morphoses kisses Leia but she's his aunt.
>> ad13: wtf
>> ad13: Isn't it red pill
Quote #319 November 10th 2016 - moop
>> moop: 8-0
>> moop: Fuck yeah!
>> moop: Why did it take me so long to try this game wtf?
>> moop: It's f.a.f.
>> moop: Fun as fuck.
>> moop: Oooooooooooooooooh now i see.
>> moop: I was playing against ai for the first 10 wins.
>> moop: TIL
Quote #318 September 11th 2016 - Andreas moop
>> Raziel: Erm.
>> Raziel: So.
>> Raziel: There's gotta be a first time for everything in life right?
>> Naypam: Please Raziel.
>> Naypam: Continue.
>> moop: Oh boy Raziel.
>> moop: Just had sex the poor lad.
>> Raziel: Including having an irresistible shit while you're biking home to your hotel.
>> moop: Oh boy.
>> moop: That's no fun Raziel.
>> moop: What did you do?
>> Raziel: Like diarrhea level shit.
>> Naypam: I guess that riding the bike would open your arse a bit.
>> moop: Did you reach the hotel?
>> Raziel: Yes I just finished showering .
>> Raziel: Showering me and my clothes...
>> Raziel: :-(
>> moop: Aw :(
>> moop: But, like, were there casualties Raziel?
>> Raziel: I don't know.
>> moop: Well now you have a story Raziel.
>> Raziel: I even went to the toilet before leaving.
>> moop: Means you ate something bad.
>> Raziel: No shits were had then.
>> Raziel: At least i could move fast on a mostly empty bike road.
>> Raziel: And run up to my hotel room.
>> Raziel: This was a huge amount.
>> Raziel: Like
>> Raziel: I don't even want to describe.
>> Raziel: Seafood + alcohol
>> Raziel: Not good for me.
>> Raziel: But I swear I went on the toilet just before leaving!
>> Raziel: I took every precaution :-(
>> Naypam: Rofl Raziel
>> Naypam: Poor
>> ad13: Hah, disaster
>> Valacar: Wait so this was Raziel's first time he shat outdoors?
>> Raziel: I've shat outdoors before Valacar.
>> Raziel: But usually I pull down my pants and squat first.
>> Valacar: Oh wait you shat on the move?
>> moop: Ya Raziel
>> moop: Why didn't you stop the explosive diarrhea?
>> moop: Just find a cork.
>> moop: EZ
>> moop: Ok that's too mean.
>> moop: I'm sorry Raziel.
>> moop: Cheer up, it's all over now.
>> Valacar: pls moop it's too late for moopsies.
>> Raziel: I was on the bike, suddenly shit, panicked, biked back to hotel as fast as I could, ran to my room and showered while taking my clothes off.
>> moop: Poor bike.
>> Valacar: The critical question that begs for an answer is the volume of shit that got out.
>> Raziel: Did you expect me to measure the volume?
>> ad13: Well, feel free to use a freeform scale.
>> Raziel: My shirt got stained, that should tell you enough.
>> ad13: roflllllllllllllllll HOW? HOW???
>> Valacar: So thats quite bad.
>> Raziel: I dunno man.
>> Raziel: Squeezed upwards by the bike seat?
Quote #317 September 11th 2016 - Bad
>> Bad: Worst thing.
>> Bad: I can't blow my nose despite it being full.
>> Bad: Because every time I start blowing my nose it sends Aurélie into a laughing fit.
>> Bad: Which makes me laugh.
>> Bad: And throw snot everywhere.
>> Bad: Apparently I sound like a clogged trumpet mixed with a fart.
>> Bad: She threatened to record me.
>> Bad: Help
Quote #316 August 10th 2016 - Andreas moop
>> Raziel: I had a whole class about post-modernism.
>> Raziel: Biggest bullshit ever in my life.
>> Valacar: Why so?
>> Raziel: Just was.
>> Raziel: Don't feel like elaborating.
>> Valacar: Well.
>> Valacar: Ok.
>> moop: Very post-modernist of you, Raziel.
>> moop: Being vague and shit.
Quote #314 June 28th 2016 - moop
>> Steele: Ooh i just thought of a meme.
>> moop: Was it a nice meme?
>> Steele: V. good meme
>> Steele: I am an independent nation state.
>> Steele: And i don't need no bloc.
>> Steele: Something
Quote #313 June 7th 2016 - Trucy
>> Trucy: My keyboard wanted to autocomplete welcome to the cum zone.
Quote #312 May 30th 2016 - moop
>> moop: Well i started playing after everyone quit.
>> moop: And my sound bugged out for some reason.
>> moop: Audio was completely reversed.
>> moop: Like, right sounds were coming from left speaker and etc.
>> moop: Googled a bit, found people with the same problem on bnet forums.
>> moop: Wrote a reply and continued playing.
>> moop: Suddenly I realized I put the headphones on the wrong side.
>> moop: Rip my life.
>> moop: Deleted my comments in shame.
Quote #311 May 12nd 2016 - 0x57 Bad moop
>> moop: Valacar: gonna watch Versailles.
>> moop: What do i need to expect?
>> moop: I see boobies.
>> moop: I'm confused, it looks cool so far.
>> Valacar: Yea boobies are real in that.
>> Valacar: But dear god the plot.
>> Valacar: And the editing.
>> Valacar: It's like beyond fucked up.
>> Valacar: And the writing.
>> Valacar: It's bad on every possible level.
>> moop: Eh.
>> moop: Ep 1 wasn't that bad.
>> moop: Like
>> moop: It's ok.
>> Valacar: Yea ep 1 wasn't that bad.
>> Valacar: Tho the telenovela vibe was stronk.
>> moop: Never seen telenovelas.
>> moop: So idk.
>> Valacar: But pay attention to that Lucas Barres guy and his sunglasses.
>> Valacar: Also music cues are quite interesting.
>> moop: Valacar: didn't know there were sunglasses during that period.
>> Valacar: Oh wait what.
>> Valacar: moop you are watching a different show.
>> moop: Versailles
>> moop: Isn't that what you're watching?
>> Bad: ...
>> Bad: moop: The show is called Marseille.
>> moop: Oh i see my confusion.
>> Valacar: :DDDDDDDD
>> moop: Let's see this Marseille.
>> gojira: lmao
>> moop: If you think about it both are french dramas about politics.
>> moop: With boobies.
Quote #310 May 5th 2016 - 0x57 Andreas
>> gojira: Nimbus.
>> gojira: (other types of cloud)
>> gojira: I only know nimbus.
>> Naypam: Straterata.
>> Naypam: Or something.
>> Naypam: Stratera?
>> Naypam: idk
>> Raziel: And something that sounds like columbus but not quite.
>> Raziel: Why do they all end in -bus?
>> Naypam: To distinguish them from planes.
Quote #309 April 19th 2016 - Andreas Bad moop
>> moop: Lol
>> moop: This museum is hugo
>> moop: Dunno how to get out halp
>> moop: Looking for a way out for the last 30 min.
>> moop: Also the weed doesn't help.
>> Bad: You barely entered the museum.
>> Bad: Already trying to go out?
>> moop: Not trying to get out.
>> moop: Just curious where out is.

[ 4 entire hours later ]

>> moop: Bad pls I'm dying Diego
>> moop: Here
>> Bad: rip Diego
>> Raziel: Ah man
>> Raziel: If only we were there with you
>> Bad: moop are you outside?
>> Bad: Or in hotel?
>> moop: Still in museum.
>> Bad: ROFL
Quote #308 March 13rd 2016 - Andreas Bad moop
>> Bad: Also I am getting married in 3 days.
>> moop: To who?
>> moop: To whom?
>> Bad: That nurse girl with the robots.
>> Bad: Maru.
>> Bad: I gifted her a cauliflower on her birthday and she was like OMG BEST GIFT EVER and it gave me +3 hearts at once.
>> Bad: So I was like eh almost 10 hearts might aswell marry.
>> Raziel: Just like real life.
Quote #307 February 14th 2016 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: How come I don't know your penises size so far?
Quote #306 December 8th 2015 - 0x57
>> gojira: I can't breathe this is too funny.
>> gojira: Someone I know. At her teambuilding excercise.
>> gojira: Had to do an interpretive dance.
>> gojira: Not alone but with her team.
>> Naypam: That isn't teambuilding.
>> Naypam: That is hummiliation?
>> gojira: And they all had to dance to pretend to be parts of their infrastructure.
>> gojira: No joke.
>> Naypam: How?
>> gojira: She was the NFS.
>> gojira: lmao
Quote #305 November 24th 2015 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: ad13: Did they come together?
>> ad13: Did who come together?
>> how-hiGh: Your buttcheeks after last night.
>> ad13: Wat?
>> how-hiGh: Joke :-)
Quote #303 November 8th 2015 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: tfw caught own reflection in laptop screen and it ruined your day
Quote #302 October 7th 2015 - Garner
>> FredG: My setup works just fine.
>> FredG: Just lost my index.html file.
Quote #301 September 12nd 2015 - Andreas
>> Raziel: The barber I was at trimmed my eyebrows.
>> Raziel: Feels weird.
Quote #300 August 10th 2015 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: Anyone doing cold showers here?
>> how-hiGh: It raises testosterone levels.
>> how-hiGh: Brah it really works it seems.
>> how-hiGh: I wouldn't recommend bullshit to my fellas.
>> how-hiGh: brb sex drive
>> how-hiGh: brb self confidence
>> how-hiGh: brb masculinity
>> how-hiGh: brb "animalistic instincts"
Quote #299 July 31th 2015 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: Anyone else having same vein patterns on cock with their dad?
>> how-hiGh: Genetics ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Quote #298 July 15th 2015 - howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: When you'll choose girl to impregnate. Before doing that invite her dad to sauna and check his dick size. If he got a small penis you wouldnt want to spread bad genes, right.
>> how-hiGh: Think several moves ahead like Raziel does in chess.
Quote #297 July 10th 2015 - Bad
>> Bad: I just had the worst adventurer ever. space I woke up with the need to shit and I was asleep seized so after shitting I wiped my ass with my sleeping boxer briefs now it's 1 a.m. and I'm busy washing shit away from my underwear also text to speech to text seems to be working well
Quote #296 July 8th 2015 - Andreas
>> Raziel: Serious advice.
>> Raziel: Pull the piss opening apart before starting to take a piss.
Quote #294 June 14th 2015 - Garner howhiGh
>> how-hiGh: Garner say it to my face.
>> how-hiGh: Just quit irc and never use this protocol again, bro.
>> how-hiGh: And by bro I mean never my bro.
Quote #293 May 22nd 2015 - howhiGh moop
>> how-hiGh: moop how did you quit being awkward?
>> how-hiGh: advice
Quote #291 May 9th 2015 - Andreas Garner
>> Garner: That
>> Garner: Fucking update
>> Garner: Hard in the cock.
>> Garner: Whoredom rife.
>> Garner: Before the update takes fucklong.
>> Garner: Brother shall show balls to brother.
>> Garner: Wang age dong age spear age sword age
>> Raziel: What the fuck.
>> Garner: A sword stands up between my hips.
>> Garner: My hidden fleece sends forth its scent of human oil.
Quote #289 April 2nd 2015 - Garner
>> Garner: hmm makes svXhVLnwF47UaqfAgYgJ
>> Garner: sense*
Quote #288 March 29th 2015 - moop
>> moop: Like 9pm my flight is I think
>> moop: Oh no, flight on 11th at 13am
>> moop: er
>> moop: pm
Quote #385 September 28th 2014 - pitastrudl
>> pitastrudl: you're iq must be at a level of a potato
>> pitastrudl: topkek
Quote #287 August 4th 2014
>> Naypam: I just got naked.
>> Naypam: Then tried to put my keys in my pocket.
>> Naypam: Dropped them on the floor.
>> Naypam: :(
Quote #286 July 12nd 2014 - 0x57
>> lovely: dux0r
>> lovely: Can you do a Raziel impression?
>> dux0r: Can't, I'm busy installing RoR legacy drivers for adhoc php5 libs.
>> dux0r: Then making some invigorating green leaf tea.
>> lovely: Thank you.
Quote #285 May 11th 2014 - Garner
>> Garner: shit builds =
>> Garner: warp poem
>> Garner: prism*
>> Garner: into dt'a
>> Garner: on main
>> Garner: zealots on bar
>> Garner: mat
>> Garner: nay
>> Garner: nat*
Quote #284 April 24th 2014 - Garner
>> Garner: Raziel tu veu bé🐭🍗🐰🐽?
>> Garner: WTF did I just type
>> Garner: I see a rabbit
>> Garner: A chicken leg
>> Garner: A rabbit
>> Garner: And a pig
Quote #283 February 26th 2014
>> Naypam: Everybody knows what rompy-pomping is.
>> Naypam: Nobody knows what the fuck a blowie is.
Quote #282 February 25th 2014 - Garner
>> Gana: Someone used to lick my blood when I had nose bleeds.
Quote #281 February 10th 2014 - 0x57
>> lovely: Dudes
>> lovely: You know what i bought?
>> lovely: I have motherfucking toilet paper
>> lovely: With vitamin E
>> lovely: How cool is that?
Quote #280 December 13rd 2013 - Andreas moop
>> moop: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
>> Raziel: Because 7 is a libertarian who won't shut up about his political agenda?
Quote #279 May 8th 2013 - 0x57 Bad
>> Naypam: I think BBC Radio is free worldwide.
>> lovely: We don't pay our tv costs Naypam.
>> lovely: So they might send inspectors after us.
>> Naypam: Haha, the BBC?
>> BadFurDay: Rofl BBC inspectors.
>> BadFurDay: They would be all like « You wot m8? »
>> lovely: YOU WOT M8?
>> lovely: NAE LICENSE!?
>> lovely: AGAINST THE WALL!
>> lovely: With their top hats.
>> lovely: And bobby uniforms.
>> lovely: And they'll haul a red phone booth with them.
>> lovely: And ride a double decker bus.
>> Naypam: Omfg it's not like that at all!
>> Naypam: They write you a letter.
>> Naypam: Then apparently come and check and say "let us in".
>> Naypam: And you say "no".
>> Naypam: And then they can't come back.
>> Naypam: Because they have no actual authority.
>> BadFurDay: Yes Naypam, that's the first step.
>> BadFurDay: A letter handwritten by the queen.
>> BadFurDay: Then the guards arrive.
>> BadFurDay: With their marge simpson hats.
>> lovely: Only the guards cant move BadFurDay.
>> lovely: So they just stand there.
>> lovely: In silence.
>> Naypam: omg
>> Naypam: Not even like that
>> Naypam: wtf
>> lovely: And they just stand there.
Quote #278 February 10th 2013
>> Juno: Sometimes when I'm watching live streams, I hold my mouse cursor over the streamer's cursor and pretend we are holding hands.
Quote #277 November 3rd 2012 - Bad Garner
>> Bad: Garner: You just made me realize that penises don't have a distinctive sound.
>> Bad: There's no sound you hear and go like « Ah, that's a penis! ».
>> Bad: It's sad.
>> Garner: Yeah it is :(
Quote #267 October 24th 2012 - 0x57 Andreas
>> lovely: Raziel: Guess what I tested today.
>> Raziel: Programming in visual basic?
>> lovely: No.
>> lovely: If my phone is waterproof.
>> Raziel: Did you test it on purpose?
>> lovely: More a spur of the moment thing.
>> Raziel: I take that as a no.
>> Raziel: So
>> Raziel: What was the test result?
>> lovely: It's not waterproof.
>> Raziel: Interesting.
>> lovely: Yeah.
Quote #268 October 20th 2012 - 0x57
>> lovely: Tupac is the illest.
>> nonpc: He was not ill.
>> nonpc: He was shot.
>> nonpc: I think.
>> nonpc: Was he?